Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
