i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
