he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
