my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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