I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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