I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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