At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
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He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
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you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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