so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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