he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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