"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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