hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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