Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
