I bet he comes in French.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
