So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
