Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
