This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
