i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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