I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
