normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I AM VODKA MAN
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
