should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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