so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I love you. Go after that dick
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
