I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
