Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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