my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
