In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
