Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
