Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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