I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
