Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
