considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
