"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
