I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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