The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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