What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
