maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We are all done wearing pants today
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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