Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think my moral compass just broke
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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