Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
