There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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