new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
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