Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
