Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
