Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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