Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize