I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Let's get the cat blown out
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
