I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
