what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
