Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
