I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
