I want to make a zoo with you.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
