i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
