maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
