shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
