Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
