ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
