Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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