on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize