The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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