bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
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its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
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I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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