if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
