I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
