its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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