it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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