Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize