Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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