so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
