At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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