im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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