Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
