i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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